GRANNYS REMEDIES AND WISDOM

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2006-02-05

Cultural Differences Explained

Aussies:   Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when
abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits:     Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

Join a program for everyone!

Aussies:   Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits:     Believe that you should look out for those people who belong
to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of
themselves.
Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.

Aussies:   Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to
the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be
bothered to sing them.
Brits:     Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform
the anthem.

Americans, Brits, Aussies and Canadians are flocking to this program

Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits:     Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels.
Aussies:   Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches,
to Britain, where everybody loves them.

Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and
basketball.
Brits:     Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey,
hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies:   Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in
every sport they play them in.

Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English".
Brits:     Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English".
Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.
Aussies:   Add "G'day", "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they say
in an attempt to get laid.

Brits:     Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an
island.
Aussies:   Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an
island.
Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor
in a backwards country.
Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor
in a backwards country.


Americans: Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits:     Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure
are inherited things.
Aussies:   Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.