Psych Patient, MD

Straddling the border of sanity

Chemical Dependency

"I'm so happy
because today I found my friends.
They're in my head."
--Lyrics from Lithium by Nirvana

How come I'm not "normal" unless I am on drugs?

I weaned myself off of my antidepressant two months ago in an attempt to save some money. That was a month from hell. Crying spells, crawling into bed and throwing the covers over my head in the middle of the day, unable to make the simplest of decisions. I felt emotionally paralyzed. I wouldn't wish that experience on my worst enemy. The only good thing to come out of it was that I realized something. Before the tapering my antidepressant, I was NOT depressed. What my therapist was telling me was actually true. I have gotten better since last summer. I have moved forward with my life. I feel better about myself. I am willing to take risks with my ego.

Thank you, Aaron. Thank you for kicking me when I need it, leaving me alone when I ask, and always being there with open arms to give me a hug no matter how childishly I behave.