Psych Patient, MD

Straddling the border of sanity

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The kid comes back!

Look for Psych Patient, MD to return on Blogger!
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On the move

Amazing what a difference a year makes. My entire life has changed because I stepped out of my comfort zone. I still wage war on clinical depression and ADHD, but I do win a battle here and there. I am surrounded by people who care about me and for me. This is the most normal lifestyle I have ever led in my entire life!

I will always have problems with my mood. That is a fact that I have come to accept. All I can do is plan to make each day better than the last. That will never change.

But life must change in order to make it worth living. Constancy equals stagnation. Remember that in biology, life is a steady-state system; there is constant movement. Systems at equilibrium are dead.

Mental health coverage

Hey! I found out that I can fill a New York state prescription in Massachusetts! And one for Adderall at that!!

I've really got to do something about my meds. Currently I am running between Massachusetts and New York to get my prescriptions. My doctor is in New York. He has been good to me. I have been with him for almost six years now. He has stood by me through thick and thin. Because of that, I do not mind driving 3 hours (six hours round trip) to see him. He knows that I spend all my time in Massachusetts with Aaron, and he accomodates that. I only have to see him once a month now instead of once a week. And he charges me hardly anything since I do not have health insurance.

Now the sensible thing for me to do would be to find a doctor in Massachusetts, which I will do once I officially move residence. (Yes, I still have my apartment in New York...that's another story) Aside from having to start all over with a new doctor, which will be a pain in itself, I have to figure out how to afford it. I am sure that the state of Massachusetts has a wonderful public mental health system, but will I have to apply for public assistance to access it? My budding internet entrepreneur ego won't like that. SIGH.

Everyone join CacheArticles so I won't have to make that ugly decision ... LOL

LOL

Your IQ Is 120

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Above Average

Temperament

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything. You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life. You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you. Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace. You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life. Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times. At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you. You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others. You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

Chemical Dependency

"I'm so happy
because today I found my friends.
They're in my head."
--Lyrics from Lithium by Nirvana

How come I'm not "normal" unless I am on drugs?

I weaned myself off of my antidepressant two months ago in an attempt to save some money. That was a month from hell. Crying spells, crawling into bed and throwing the covers over my head in the middle of the day, unable to make the simplest of decisions. I felt emotionally paralyzed. I wouldn't wish that experience on my worst enemy. The only good thing to come out of it was that I realized something. Before the tapering my antidepressant, I was NOT depressed. What my therapist was telling me was actually true. I have gotten better since last summer. I have moved forward with my life. I feel better about myself. I am willing to take risks with my ego.

Thank you, Aaron. Thank you for kicking me when I need it, leaving me alone when I ask, and always being there with open arms to give me a hug no matter how childishly I behave.

Problem solving

Quotation of the Day:

"The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the
same level of thinking with which we created them."
-- Albert Einstein

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Colors

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything. You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey. You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

My Source

This is something that I have never quite settled for myself. What is the difference between believing in yourself and your own power versus belief in a higher power?

I have no formal religious training, so please excuse my ignorance. It just seems to me that if you can believe in a higher power living inside of yourself, then why can't that higher power just be yourself? I have read parts of the Bible. I like listening to Christian radio programs and agree with many of the concepts presented. I think that what my parents taught me about right and wrong generally follows Christian principles. But I would not be considered a Christian because I am trying to have faith in myself as opposed to having faith in a higher power.

I guess that I am equating religious faith with dependence on an outside source of strength. I fear dependence. I consider dependence a weakness. That is really my problem.

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