Combating Holiday Depression

2005-12-21 Posted at 11:15:16 AM

I remember the first year I divorced my first husband.  My children were awarded to him on all holidays and my income was sorely inadequate for raising two teenage girls.  I was only able to buy them socks and underwear as gifts.  My parents were in Texas and I had no money for travel...so I found myself absolutely alone on Thanksgiving and Christmas...a recipe for big time grief.  My family has always gathered together and celebrated by having a large feast and visiting all day on these occasions.  After a disastrous first year, I decided never to subject myself to such loneliness again.
    This kind of grief can result from divorce, the loss of a loved one, loss of a job or loss of anything that is extremely important to you.

Some suggestions:

•     First...arrange to be with people.   I invited a number of my single friends to dinner...asked them to bring a dish and I provided the meat.  Preparation of the dinner and house occupied me, so that my feeling of loneliness were allayed...at least I did not have time to dwell on them and have a pity party for myself.

•     Second....think about all the blessings you enjoy...a warm home, enough money to enjoy food and clothing....friends who support you when you need it.  Wonderful memories which bring you joy.

•     Third....nurture yourself in some way that makes you feel good.  Take a warm bubble bath....bask in a shower...take a walk in the woods, on the beach or wherever  you love to be.

•     Fourth...nourish  your spirit and you will heal...depression often results from trying to be someone you are NOT.  Nothing is worth that!

Christmas Rituals

2005-12-16 Posted at 12:27:14 AM

Rituals are traditions which create lasting ties between persons.  My family is steeped in such traditions.
Christmas presents great opportunities to participate in rituals which create  health giving connections.
Glenn (my husband) and I are in the most senior generation of our family.  We  were  both raised in an environment where grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers and sisters participated actively in our everyday lives.  Such experiences weave an intricate tapestry which strengthens and nurtures children.
My most vivid memories are of Christmas eve services, where members of our family actively participated in the choir.  Mother, Daddy and Aunt Dot made a point of singing Handel's Messiah each year, as members of the local Choral Society.  We would go caroling, bake cookies, shop joyously for gifts for our loved ones, send  cards to friends and family ...enjoy a fabulous  feast and gathering on Christmas day.  My father loved to decorate the yard and house with lights...I painted the windows with Christmas scenes.  These are not unusual activities...but our family is cemented together by sharing traditions which have been passed down for generations.  Most of all, our Christmas is centered around the magical story of the birth of Christ.  Our celebration was and is still focused upon  the joyful message that Christ introduced us to an image of God as LOVE. May your family be as Blessed as mine is.

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