2006-09-12

Another day in the shoes of the strange

Now that I've started college, I can finally move on with my life. It's been a challenge, and it's only my first week!

But besides that, I have began my other career as a professional duelist clan leader. For those who wish to joain and have any Idea what I'm talking about, my website is:

z10.invisionfree.com/Kiddronaleaguev3.index.php

And as to my band: we're still sticking together. Our first gig was a hit and I regretted having to stop playing.

That sums up today, so Later.

-Rustus N. Vade

2006-04-25

Recent thoughts, care of Crush 40

Recently I heard a new band who changed me from within. The name of the band is Crush 40 and they have shown me that I need to continue. You see, I heard them from two of my favorite games: Shadow the Hedgehog and Sonic Adventure 2 Battle. The song that changed me most was from Shadow The Hedgehog: What I'm Made of.

Lyrics care of my memory, so if it isn't right, that's my bad

I don't care what you're thinking

as you turn to me

Cause what I have in my two hands

is enough to set me free (set me free)

I could fight the feeling

To resist it over time

But when it's just too much to take

You sneak up from behind

(Pre Chorus) Is it me, you say, you're looking for?

Let me show you who I am and what I'm here for (here for)

(Chorus) Try to reach inside of me, Try to drain my energy

Let me show you just what I'm made of

Simple curiosity tries to take a bite of me

Let me show you just What I'm made of now...

(Verse 2) Like a million faces

I've recognised them all

and One by one they've all become

a number as they fall (as they fall)

In the face of reason

I can't take no more

One by one they've all become

a black mark on the floor.

(Prechorus) Is it me, you say, You're looking for

Let me show you who I am and what I have in store (in store)

YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

(Chorus, same as above)

(Bridge) If you could take another life long try...

would you take another try?

(solo, then chorus)

Try to reach inside of me (let me show you what I'm made of)

Try to drain my energy (let me show you what I'm made of)

Let me show you just what I'm made of now...

This song got me to thinking how I needed to move on. So I have and now I have started a band with my best friend and we are about to play my graduation party as our first gig.

My only wish now is that these guys hit the big time (Crush 40, not my band) because they are a great band and you can never find any of their music.

2006-03-02

Reflection and Music

"No amount of darkness shall stand in the way of my dreams" -Vi(r)e, Dreams of the unwanted

(Author's note: I don't own any of these songs. Lyrics are care of Letssingit.com)

You know, I'm looking back on my life and I'm finding that my first 18 years on God's Green Earth have not been the best they could have been. I could have been out having wild parties, doing things, but I chose the path of the light, and I'm kinda regretting it. I could have had fun with my life. I curse my stepmom everyday for her restrictiveness. I was never allowed to leave the house for anything social, unless I was going to my neighbors, and even then, I was only allowed out a half hour. She thought she could control me and make everything fall apart. Well This song tells the story: Falling Apart by Zebrahead

Everything's falling apart

Stutter step through another trap set by deception

Mention rejection rejection

Always lies in your eyes

Settles in your action, lies in your eyes

Settles in your action

Jeopardize everything that I want

And I won't compromise anything anymore

In any way victimize myself any more

Liberty yeahManipulations on my mind

Expectations well defined

Frustrate meLiberate me

CauseEverything's falling apart(You can't control me, You can't control me)

Everything's falling apart(You can't control me, You can't control me)

Everything's falling apart

Now I can't see you

Doesn't matter what I do

I can't see you

Cause everything's falling apart

I got exposed to a deeper form of infection

Shout out "I need acception"

Always lies in your eyes

Settles in your action, Lies in your eyes

Settles in your action

Criticize everything that I do

And I will overcome anything that's in store

Nevermore look up to you and adore

Liberty yeah

Manipulations on my mind

Expectations well defined

Frustrate meLiberate me

Cause Everything's falling apart(You can't control me, You can't control me)

Everything's falling apart(You can't control me, You can't control me)

Everything's falling apart

Now I can't see you

Doesn't matter what I do

I can't see you

Cause everything's falling apart

Manipulation is on my mind(Inspect me - try to check me)

Expectations well defined(Dissect me - want to wreck me)

Violator of my own will(Accept me - reject me)

Separate or shoot to kill

And everything's falling apart(You can't control me, You can't control me)

Everything's falling apart(You can't control me, You can't control me)

Everything's falling apart

Now I can't see you

Doesn't matter what I do

I can't see you 

Cause Everything's falling apart(You can't control me, You can't control me)

Everything's falling apart(You can't control me, You can't control me)

Everything's falling apart

Now I can't see you

Doesn't matter what I do

I can't see you

Cause everything's falling apart 

And I've had people tell me that I'm in a bad way, and they offer advice starting with the words "If I were you..." 

Doesn't that annoy anyone else? So I have a song about it. It's called "Your Not Me" by Marty Bags.

You think I've got it all
Everyone thinks I've got it made well 
How come my only friends are the ones I pay?
No one understands
What I would do to change my life for just one day
Don't say if I were you (say if I were you)
Or tell me what you'd do
Or things would be if
You were in my shoes
Cuz you're not me
 
You know what I need
And it's not another serenade
I get so tired of all the things you say
So give me what I want
if you only would I'd gladly throw this all away
 
Don't say if I were you (say if I were you)
Or tell me what you'd do
Or things would be if
You were in my shoes (cuz you're not me)
Please take me as I am (take me as I am)
This isn't what I planned
Guess I don't expect that
You can understandCuz you're not me
 
I know you think you're bein' nice
But spare me all your lame advice
Time to play my hand and role the dice
Everybody's got their price
For far to long I've been denied
I'm makin' my move so just step aside
No one can say I never tried
To do everything to get back my pride
 
Hey, you were never me
Why can't you see
That you're not me (me, me, me, me, me, me, me)
 
Don't say if I were you (say if I were you)
Or tell me what you'd do (tell me what you'd do)
Or how things would be if
You were in my shoes (cuz you're not me)
Please help me if you can (help me if you can)
This isn't what I planned (this isn't what I planned)
I guess I don't expect that
You can understand
Cuz you're not me
 
(If ya can't tell, I'm a big music fan of many kinds. Music is my life!)
 
 
Then I think back to December 10, 2004. The day dad died. That makes me wonder... what happened? 
First they tell me he had a stroke. Then they tell me that the splint in his neck broke... WHAT GIVES? 
sounds a bit suspicious to me, but There is still a song that describes it for me:
 "Untitled (How could this happen to me)" by Simple Plan (Major fan of these guys!)
 
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
 
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
 
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
 
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold on
On to a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
 
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading awayI
'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
 
I've made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me? 
 
You know to be honest, I make my life out to be horrid, but I see that it's not. I got a little brother who 
I love with everything I have, even if he is a pestilence. He told me about this rapper/wrestler 
named John Cena and this song that happens to be his. I was a bit wary at first, cause 
I don't like rap much, but "Right Now" by John Cena made me think about my life in a different way.
 
[John Cena]
Yeah
You can't help but feel it
Can't help but feel this one
Uh-huh uh yeah
 
Excuse me for a minute while I lighten the mood
Just clap with me like the lightning do, yeah
A bit of soul food that you be bitin into
And if you feel me then I'm writin for you, uh-huh
Right now put another coat of wax on the ride
For a minute put the beef and the gats to the side
Cause this track's got a vibe to chill to
Enjoy life for 5 minutes, man it's not gon' kill you
 
It's okay to be hard and stay true man
But at the end of the day, we all hu-man
This one's for you, the ones that you close to
Show some love, it's what you supposed to
Right now, forget the ends and the Benz
Pop a cold one, man toast it wit'cha real friends
Call your folks, tell 'em you tight now
Cause everything lookin pretty good right now
 
[Chorus - sped up vocal sample]
 
[Tha Trademarc]
Right now baby, we all gon' ride
So place those things on your hips or side
The soul vibe gon' change, give way with fame
But sometimes the moral change or stay the same
Relax baby, right now you here
And sit back baby, with a round of beer
And cheer to those friends who crowded near
For those passed on in spirit they there
It's gon' be what it must, break bread wit'cha crew
If you got kids take the crust
It's all love baby, tell your girl she's strong
And whisper in her ear after dinner it's on
And take it slow baby, cause everything real
When you at family dinner y'all enjoy that meal
Thank God that you healthy and you keepin it tight
And keep your dreams lighthearted when you sleepin at night
 
[Chorus - sped up vocal sample]
 
[John Cena]
Yeah - and right now I'm showin love to my brothers and my old man
To my girl, "Let's Get it On" like the slow jam
To everybody that I'm runnin down the road with
Y'all my family, I know that you know this
Fox, Rock, B's and Chaos
Y'all growin up with me man, true to life players
Grandma or grandpa watchin up above
Trademarc you my heart cousin, nothin but love
 
[Tha Trademarc]
Thanks momma, for all that you was
You a strongarm lady baby crazy with love
My sister raised me, those are the facts
And taught me how to rebuild when the order collapsed
And right now I'm blessed no stress no less
And thanks hip-hop for givin me back focus, huh
Yeah John, what can I say?
It's all love from day one, you showed me the way
 
[Chorus - sped up vocal sample]
 
Since I heard that song, I've changed. I'm living life to the fullest. You should too! Break Free of the chains that bind you to the world! You'll love it!
 
Any THoughts?

2006-03-01

Rustus's poetry

I Thought it best to share some poems that I've written, because that is my main hobby, besides dueling of course.

This one got me the Poetry.com Editor's Choice Award, I've posted it everywhere, it's called: Be Careful What You Wish For"

Be careful what you wish for

For it may come true

True in a terrible way

A way that will hurt you

I wished my stepmom out of my life

but what I didn't see

Is that in doing so, I wished off my friends too

'Tis really hurting me

Like a Tremendous Fire

It burns my soul away

It hurts so deep to me

So to you I must say

Be Careful what you wish for

'Twill hurt so painfully

Never do it, nevermore

Or you'll end up like me...

Here's another one i wrote a few days ago, I call it "Duelists"

We play our game

You play yours

Stop berating us for our choice

We're the same at our cores!

So why do you bug us?

Why do you want to fight?

We don't bug you for your games, do we?

Why can't you see the light?

If you think we're stupid, that's it

That's just your opinion, you see

That's your entitlement, i guess

Here in the land of the free

So why do you mess with us?

Why are we on your hitlist?

Just leave us alone!

We're the Ansonia Duelists!

(FYI: The people at the table next to me and the group of card players sit at at lunch make fun of us. I wrote this to stop them, I think I'll tell them this today, I'll update and tell you how it goes!"

 This is Joan, my father's card. Ironic that he would give me a card like this right before he dies. So I wrote a poem about that, too.

Joan, the Angel (a haiku)

Guardian Angel

You have protected me well

You now have my thanks.

I'll continue to update this,so I'll be waiting for comments.

2006-02-28

the first post

"To all who posess the great power... All things are possible" -Tommy Oliver, "Power Rangers The Movie" (I do not watch, but I used to, when it first started... oh so long ago...)

It might sound cheesy, but in a way, tis very true. But the great power is not something you attain by winning championships, or fighting in a war. It is something you are born with. And we are all born with it.

There is the fact that I am a duelist. I play the Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG. I'm not afraid to admit it and I will not tolerate flaming me about it. THere is a story about why I duel. Here it is...

I wake up late, round 6:45, bus comes in 15 minutes, so I rush around the house trying to get ready for school, then Dad and my stepmom leave, dad to go hunting and my stepmom to go to work, locking the door behind them. Mind you it's at most 20 degrees out, and I can't get in. I check my watch when I get out there. It's 7:10. I figure that the roads are slick, so the bus will be late. I check again what seems like forever later and its 8:00. I turn on my radio only to find out that there's a 3 hour delay of school and that I had froze my arse off for nothing. I jump into my dad's van, which still stunk from when he spilled deer urine, to get warm, and turn on the radio, only to find out that school's been cancelled.

Now at this point, I'm pretty ticked. So Dad comes pulling in half past 10, and he thinks I skipped school to stay home. So now I'm in for the beating of my life, or so I thought, but all he says is "You're helping me skin this deer." Which he doesn't do until about a quarter of 6 that night. But before then, I had to straighten up the shed, get the ropes, the meat saw, all that other jazz, and to top it all off, right before we start he confronts me...

"Russ, I want you to have this:" and he gives me his prized Guardian Angel Joan card. I put it up in my room and go back downstairs to continue helping dad. Then not 10 minutes later, he starts to stumble. I ask what's wrong and he says "I don't feel right..."

He had a stroke and died then and there. I never got to thank him for the card, or apologise from the fight we had the day before.

Above care of TGCplayer.com, under my username there, MagePower

I still have Joan, and she's been in my platinum case ever since then. I've dueled to keep his tradition alive.

I have a song that describes the break up with my girlfriend also. the song is called "Just close your eyes and the band that sings it is Waterproof Blonde. (Lyrics care of letssingit.com)

Deceived by my eyes and all I was told I should see

Opinions not mine, the person they taught me to be

One night in the dark, a vision of someone I knew

And in the darkness I saw, a voice say, I'm you.

Inside me a light was turned on, and Then I was alive

Chorus

If you close your eyes your life, a naked truth revealed

Dreams you never lived, and scars never healed

In the darkness, light will take you to the other side

And find me waiting there you'll see, if you just close your eyes

Hearts uninspired, trapped inside somebody's dream

Too close to the fire, yet cold and numb with the pain

But the fever has broken, and the river has run to the sea

Washed to the ocean, and saved by a voice inside me.

Inside me a light was turned on Then I was alive

Chorus

If you close your eyes your life, a naked truth revealed

Dreams you never lived, and scars never healed

In the darkness, light will take you to the other side

and find me waiting there you'll see, if you just close your eyes

Bridge

Never thought I would be here, so high in the air

This was my unanswered prayer

Defined by another, so much wasted time

Out of the darkness, each breath that I take will be mine

Chorus

If you close your eyes your life, a naked truth revealed

Dreams you never lived, and scars never healed

In the darkness, light will take you to the other side

and find me waiting there you'll see, if you just close your eyes

I think I'll leave it at that. Comments are nice, you know, as I am new here. I'd like to get to know you all.

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