View From the Balcony

Writers Block

2005-08-15

Late Night Phone Calls - The Pain

At 10:30pm the phone rang the first time, we knew it was my granddaughter Casara looking for her ride home from work. Thus it was expected.

Saturday night has become a ritual night to play the amateur version of Texas Hold 'em Poker. Family members gather round to show off their poker faces and bluff their fellow players.

It is an amazing situation to listen to a 12yr old point at the cards on the table and run off the percentage average of you having the type of hand that warrants that huge raise. After deciding the risk factor, he exclaims, " You're going down, dad," and matches the bet and adds a further raise.

The laughter is broken by the ringing of the telephone and the second late night call. This time all eyes look to each other and the phone is answered.

It is my daughter who lives in Saskatchewan calling. Our immediate concerns go to the safety of all there, and that is soon settled that all is well as to safety. The sigh of relief is followed with congratulations as she announces my grandson and his wife have made me a great grandmother for the third time.

Late night calls always create concern, and the news that is good soon builds the false euphoria that follows . If only the news would end with the good information. Not this time.

The real reason for this call, comes soon after, as my 40yr old daughter informs me she is in the fight for her life. They removed a huge tumor from her colon on Thursday and it is cancercous.

What do you say? What do you do in those first few seconds of mind blowing news like that? The only history of cancer in our famillies, is her paternal grandfather whom she lost to lung cancer, and me, her mother. I had a tumor removed in 1981, and am now undergoing facial treatment for skin cancer. I am a survivor if there is such a thing, and that gives her some strength to face this .

You laugh together because it is unfathomable shock, and you cry together as life is not always fair. Then you get on with living. That is what you have to do yet, and that is what you need to focus on. That is where we are today. Next Thursday she will know the recommended treatements and we will go from there.

Some times the view from the balcony is badly clouded by such painful life issues with no real answers.